By Diana Ruggiero

We humans put animals inside of our own bodies so often that it’s quite refreshing to see the opposite. No, I don’t mean people getting eaten by animals (although that DOES have its own vorarephilic charm), but rather when structures enterable by humans are built in the shape of animals. There are tons of buildings shaped like strange things (the catch-all term is usually “novelty architecture”), such as hot dogs, pineapples, teapots, and derby hats, but since animals are clearly more fun to go inside of, this list will deal exclusively with buildings shaped like living organisms from everybody’s favorite taxonomic kingdom: Animalia!

(Flip through the photo album on the right to see photos of each building.)

1. Dog Bark Park Inn (Cottonwood, Idaho)

Everyone knows the saying “Let sleeping dogs lie” but at Dog Bark Park Inn, you can lie sleeping in a dog! Inverse idioms aside, this bed & breakfast in Cottonwood, Idaho (population: 900) consists of one rentable suite located inside of a giant beagle named Sweet Willy. The suite is fitted with canine-based décor and only costs around $92 a night, assuming you have a reservation. Probably the best thing about the inn (other than the fact that it is a giant dog) is the owners—Dennis Sullivan and Frances Conklin are a married couple that make their living as artistsmaking wooden sculptures of dogs. By using chainsaws. For a paltry sum of just $49 (shipping is free!), you can choose from over 60 breeds of small, painted wooden dogs carved lovingly by the whirling teeth of one of the more unsubtle artistic utensils available. If you’ll excuse me, I must now order the wooden corgi sculpture I never knew I wanted.

2. Big Duck (Flanders, New York)

I can think of few things in this world better than an enormous, 80-year-old concrete duck. Built in 1931, Big Duck initially held a duck-based poultry store and now serves as a gift shop. The original owner, Martin Maurer, was so enamored with his giant duck that he patented it (although I’m not entirely sure how patenting a duck-shaped building even works or why one would be inclined to do so—maybe he just wanted to treasure that piece of paper affirming that he, Martin Maurer, was definitely the man that created that glorious duck). Every year around Christmas time, the locals of Suffolk County come together for the Annual Holiday Lighting of the Big Duck, accompanied by a festively decorated and glowing Big Duck and mirthful recitations of so-called “duck carols.” (Clearly, tree lightings are just too mainstream). The Big Duck gets props for being one out of two entries on this list that is on the National Register of Historic Places, serving to remind Americans of our country’s long-standing love-affair with tacky yet charming roadside attractions.

3. Lucy the Elephant (Margate City, New Jersey)

The oldest entry on the list, Lucy the Elephant was built in 1882 by Mr. James Lafferty. Standing at an impressive six-stories befitting of an elephant, Lucy has been home to a staggering variety of services ranging from a restaurant, to business offices, to a tavern that was shut down during Prohibition (damn you ’20s era government for robbing Lucy of her true raison d’etre). Lucy has a riveting history—of the three elephant buildings Mr. Lafferty built, only Lucy survived (“The Elephantine Colossus” and “Old Dumbo” fell to fire and demolition team respectively). For reasons I cannot even begin to fathom, Lucy herself was scheduled for destruction in 1960, but was rescued by the Save Lucy Committee. Nowadays, Lucy functions as a nifty tourist attraction, having been added to the U.S. National Register of Historic Places as well as being designated a U.S. National Historic Landmark (a unique distinction on this list!). Fun fact: Lucy is clearly an Asian elephant. Since only male Asian elephants have tusks, Lucy is actually a boy! However, it’s totally okay (and even encouraged!) for Lucy to express whatever gender identity she feels most comfortable with. Growing up as a 129-year-old tin elephant is hard enough without crippling gender dysphoria.

4. Giant Muskie Building- National Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame (Hayward, Wisconsin)

It is every angler’s dream to catch a fish as big as their fisherman’s ego, but they’d be very hard-pressed to catch one as big as the giant muskellunge that holds the National Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame. The muskie, built in 1976, is 143-ft long and is currently the world’s largest fiberglass sculpture. Visitors enter through the tail and can walk through the body while learning all about the most successful fresh water fishermen our country has ever had the privilege of hosting. There is a lovely observational deck at the fish’s open mouth, where tourists can take in the scenery from up high, ponder the role reversal of being in the prey’s mouth for once, or, as some visitors choose to, have a decidedly ichthyic wedding. I’m not sure I would want to pledge my undying love and commitment to another person with the needle-like teeth of an honestly terrifying giant fish looming overhead, but everyone has a different idea of what is romantic, and who am I to judge?

5. Dinny the Dinosaur (Cabazon, California)

The delicious irony of this entry is thicker than all the asphalt in even the densest tar pit. Dinny the Dinosaur was built out of steel and concrete in the 1960s by Claude K. Bell in an effort to get travelers to stop at his roadside restaurant. Another dinosaur, “Mr. Rex,” was added in 1981, but before Bell could build his planned woolly mammoth structure to give Class Mammalia some well-needed representation, he sadly passed away. His family sold the property to the “Cabazon Family Partnership.” These new owners turned the property into something you would never expect to find inside of a dinosaur’s belly—a creationist museum.Besides that blatant conceptual oxymoron (surely “museum” implies a place of worthy, or at least factual knowledge and learning?),the sheer absurdity of creationism when coupled with (or, rather, put inside of) a replica of the very creature whose remains has helped shed light onto the fossil record and therefore bolstered our knowledge of the competing theory of evolution is just mind-bogglingly hilarious and confounding. Inside of Dinny the Dinosaur, visitors can learn all about how dinosaurs and humans were created on the same day just 6000 years ago. There’s also some illogical balderdash about how there were baby dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark and that mythological stories about dragons were actually in reference to dinosaur sightings, but if I think too hard about Young-Earth creationism I start to feel the beginning of a brain aneurysm.